


Double Talk

by PhunkyBrewster



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friendship, Mixed Bag, Romance, Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-16 01:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3469244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhunkyBrewster/pseuds/PhunkyBrewster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Homonym (hom·o·nym) noun<br/>each of two or more words having the same spelling but different meanings and origins.</p><p>A series of one-shots/ficlets highlighting different moments. One word. Two meanings. Two people learning to speak the same language. Multi-chapter. Mindy/Danny</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet

**Sweet (swēt/) adj.**

_1\. pleasing in general; delightful_

 

A vending machine coil clinging greedily to the corner of a bag of Sun Chips she had already rightfully purchased.

Correction: a vending machine coil clinging greedily to a bag of Sun Chips she had reluctantly, but rightfully, purchased.

She was certain there was a metaphor in this somewhere.

With a little more thought she began to question whether or not this was actually her fault for expecting more from a machine the night before it was due for a refill. That possibility was quickly abolished once she identified herself as the true victim here, first of circumstance and then of corporate theft.

She needed  _something_. That was always the determining reason that brought her in front of the lounge's near empty machine on a Wednesday night. Sometimes, if she was feeling particularly optimistic, she'd convince herself that she actually  _wanted_ that roll of banana-flavored Now and Laters. ( _"You're lying to yourself, Lahiri. Not a soul wants those." "Shut your filthy mouth up, Prentice. They're delicious today!"_ )

There's little energy for pretending tonight, however. And now she's left with two options: jam her shoulder in an attempt to free the snack she barely wants or pay twice, which feels like the ultimate injustice. She surveyed the contents once more. Sun Chips, Grandma's Vanilla Crème Cookies, Juicy Fruit gum, and Captain's Wafers.

"Blech," Mindy blanched. "To the desperate goes the crap."

A person trudged into the lounge behind her until he was at her side, depositing coins into the drink machine. His cologne gave him away long before his gruff acknowledgment of her did.

"You hate Sun Chips," Danny greeted almost accusingly.

"Yeah, well, sometimes the hungry are forced into unsavory situations."

"Let me remind you again that you are  _not_  one of the hungry.  You're one of the lazy who refuses to go around the corner to the visitor's machine and get something you actually like."

"And let me remind  _you_ ," Mindy countered pointedly, "that weird, invasive Mirna mans the guest station every Wednesday evening and I'm not really in the mood to pretend to care about her Friday Night plans to marathon Facts of Life and try a new pesto sauce. Ugh. How are her date night plans hotter than mine?!"

"Hotter?" Danny questioned with a groan as he bent down to collect his dewy bottled water. "So nothing happened with that guy you called a Chris Pine-Vin Diesel hybrid?"

Mindy waved her hand dismissively as she tried nudging the machine with her upper arm. "I learned last night that looks only get you so far."

"You're  _just_  learning that?"

Rather than take the opportunity to respond, Mindy launched her shoulder into the machine with a loud thud, scraping the mechanism against the linoleum floor while barely moving the targeted product. With a defeated growl she launched into an attack with her balled fists.

"UNHAND MY CARDBOARD CHIPS, YOU PILFERING SONOFABITCH!"

"Woah, woah, hey!" Danny quickly grabbed her wrists, teetering just a fraction as he absorbed most of her force. "Stop! Just buy something else, you lunatic!"

Mindy snatched her wrists out of his grasp. "Forget it! I'll just watch TV and hope that my stomach begins to gnaw itself thin."

"That's not a..." Danny blew an exasperated sigh through his pursed lips. "Nevermind." He took a big swig from his bottle and exited the lounge as Mindy flopped onto the lumpy couch. She threw her arm over her eyes and prayed that a sudden bout of exhaustion would carry her to sleep, curing both her hunger and boredom. Instead, she simply laid there as her mind flitted from bags of chips to handsome men to herself being fed chips by handsome men.

The John Stamos stand-in was just about to drag the snack across her bottom lip when she felt something drop onto her hip with a crinkling thud. Mindy lifted her head enough to spot the metallic bag of her favorite kettle chips.

"Those are still your favorite, right?" 

She craned her neck until she was able to spot Danny settling into the arm chair next to the sofa. Her eyes remained trained on him as she sat up with the bag in her hand. "Danny, you didn't - "

"And just so you know," he interrupted while leaning over to fetch the TV remote,” Mirna has now moved on to cream-based pesto sauces. She's confident that she's cracked it this time."

"Oh really?"

"Big week for Mirna." 

Mindy giggled while palming the bag in mild disbelief. Danny Castellano wasn't big on kind gestures for the heck of it. 

"This was sweet of you, Danny. Thank you."

His attempt to appear nonchalant was only thwarted by the creeping blush in his cheeks. "Don't fall to pieces or nothing. It's just a bag of chips."

His measured attempt to not look in her direction was not missed. Rather than push the issue, Mindy opened her snack with a satisfied smirk. "Sure it is."

* * *

 

_2\. having the pleasant taste characteristic of sugar or honey; not salty, sour, or bitter._

 

“What is your obsession with eating cake on the floor?”

With her mouth closed around the tines of her fork, Mindy looked up to find Danny standing over with a quizzical look. He at least had the decency to look more concerned than judgmental. Before she could swallow her morsel of Betsy’s pineapple upside down cake and ask him what he was doing in her office, he added, “I saw your cast from behind your desk and thought you might have needed help.

“Right,” Mindy muttered with a full mouth. “As if I wouldn’t be screaming bloody murder until someone rescued me. I’m this office’s best screamer, you know.”

“Oddly enough, I do know that.” Danny slinked down until he too was sitting on her carpet. He nudged his chin towards the opened cake carrier. “Bets made you another cake, then?”

“To tell you the truth, I really didn’t have time to ask. I just took.”

“You know, if you do actually care to get healthy, maybe eating a whole cake isn’t the best idea.”

“Alright, we might have made amends and you may have said some very nice things to me, but I’m still firing you as my trainer.”

“I’m not speaking to you as your trainer,” he said defensively, “I’m speaking as a friend who’d rather not see you go into a diabetic coma.”

Mindy’s mind wandered to the possibilities surrounding such a circumstance and her expression relaxed into that of dream-like wonder. “Mmmm, sugar sleep.”

“No, Mindy,” Danny reprimanded firmly, then sighed. “I give up.”

“It’s for the best. Once you give the encouraging speech it’s up to the recipient to decide what they want to take away from it.” To solidify her resolve she tore another large piece of cake with her fork. “And what I’ve decided is, there’s no need for me to feel self conscious. I look like a woman and that’s a good thing.”

“So what you’ve chosen to take away from this is exactly what I told you, almost verbatim?”

“Hush, Danny. Get your own learning experience.” She guided the cake into her mouth and fought the urge to hum in celebration of its succulence. “Also, I’m just going to do what I want from here on out. You know, I’m not even sure I want to go on vacation with Cliff just yet.”

Danny’s eyebrows shot up with interest. “Oh yeah?”

She nodded absently. “Travelling with someone is serious, you know? I like New York Cliff, but what if Vacation Cliff is a total spaz? My getaways usually include scoping out hot spots where celebrities like to stage photo ops with the paparazzi. What if he’s not into that, Danny?”

Danny chuckled to himself as he leaned forward and a pulled at her bottom desk drawers. “I can’t imagine _anyone_ not wanting to do that.”

"Neither can I!” Mindy replied in awe. “But he might not!”

Danny rummaged through her drawer until his hand landed on one of her spare to-go forks wrapped in noisy plastic. He unsheathed the utensil and deposited the balled up trash onto her desk. “Well, Min, maybe you should get to know him a little better before you jet around the world with him.”

Mindy watched in amazement as he dug his newly acquired fork into an untouched side of the cake. “You’re actually going to eat cake? Are your days numbered or something?”

“I always miss out! I haven’t had the stuff in ages. Plus, I’m almost certain this cake was meant for Beverly’s birthday.”

“She’s far too high to notice,” Mindy reasoned. “And you’re probably right. Maybe it’s not time to go away with Cliff yet.”

Danny took the usurped cake into his mouth and immediately recoiled. “Jesus, did Betsy use eight pounds of sugar in this thing?”

“Mmmm. From your lips to God’s ears, my friend.”

 

 

 

 


	2. Duck

 

**duck ( dək/) noun**

_1\. a waterbird with a broad blunt bill, short legs, webbed feet, and a waddling gait._

He should have urged them to head back to the practice three minutes ago. They were definitely going to be late.

It's not as if their office were far away. In fact, he could practically see the building from their bench with a helpful squint of his eye and a touch of desperation. With the rare fortune of having a vacant block of time after lunch the only person waiting on them would be Jeremy, who would give them a well-deserved lecture about punctuality. The consequences seemed bearable.

Besides, if they left now, then he would miss out on some quality teasing from Mindy.

"I will never understand how a person can embody New York so completely and still have terrible, _terrible_ taste in pizza places."

"Torelli's is a quality pizzeria! He gave you that free breadstick, didn't he?"

"Nobody but you wants free breadsticks, Danny." She waved around her uneaten crust. "I could barely stomach the rest of this slice, which was 90% partially burnt crust, might I add."

Danny shook his head smugly. "You just don't know quality, old school pizza when you taste it. You're into that new age-y, 'artisan' crap. What was that stuff you made me eat last week? That salty goop with the fig paste?"

He waited for her to fire back, but only received silence in return. Danny looked at her face and spotted an expression of muted terror as she stared straight ahead with wide eyes. When he attempted to follow her gaze the only thing he found was a large white duck waddling leisurely towards their bench.

"Min, what's wrong?"

She leaned closer and kept her voice cautiously low. "Don't make eye contact with it, Danny."

Danny looked forward again with confusion. "Are you talking about the duck? All you're _doing_ is making eye contact."

"Shut up, shut up! It's coming this way. Oh God." She quickly looked away and gulped dramatically.

Rearing his head back and refusing to tame the amused grin tugging the corner of his mouth, he asked in disbelief, "Mindy, how can you honestly be having this reaction towards a duck? It's a _duck_."

Mindy finally tore her eyes away from the innocuous creature. "Ducks are undercover assholes, Danny. They act all unassuming and cute and the next thing you know, BAM! Your right eye is dangling from its deadly beak."

"You sound insane right now. Look, it's probably hungry! Here." He reached over and took the crust out of her hand and tore it down the middle, returning half to her while he retained rest. He then split the crust down the bitten seam and tore away a piece of the softer bread from its crunchy exterior. The duck tentatively waddled closer as if it knew what was coming next.

"There you go, little guy," Danny said encouragingly as he tossed the piece of deconstructed crust on the ground. The new feathered lunch companion made its way eagerly to the treat and happily claimed it with its beak. Danny looked to Mindy. "See? It's fine." He gently nudged her with his shoulder. "C'mon, be nice to him."

With a roll of her eyes Mindy mimicked Danny's process of opening the crust and ripping away the softer bread. When she tossed it near the duck it graciously snapped up the gift and quickly shook its tail feathers.

"Did I ever tell you about the time a duck attacked me and Rishi when we were kids?" Mindy asked suddenly, ripping away more bread and tossing it in the duck's general direction. "We were at this stupid family picnic in the park and this crazily aggressive duck came up to us and -"

"Pecked at Rishi's peanut butter sandwich," Danny supplied automatically with slight chuckle. "And when you tried to save Rishi and the sandwich it started pecking at your hand. Yeah, Min, you told me."

"If you squint, you can still see the scar!" Mindy shook the hand in Danny's face, which he then took into his own in order to carefully examine it. As the pad of his thumb grazed her supple palm he was reminded of the extensive moisturizing regimen she tried describing to him one night when she was in his bed. He vaguely remembers the words "coconut oil" and "nighttime gloves," but he mainly recalls the melodic lilt in her voice as she recounted the childhood story with a comical sort of terror. Sometimes, if he concentrates, he can still feel the heat of her bare skin at his side and on parts of his torso as if she were still draped over his body.

The bedtime story of the confrontational duck was the last one she told him before the party that changed everything. Up until a month ago he thought she'd never talk to him again, let alone spend her lunches with him. Hearing the tale once more while holding her hand in almost the same fashion felt a little like coming full circle. The brief flash of something unreadable in her eyes gave him the impression that she was recognizing the same. Maybe future bedtime anecdotes weren’t so far-fetched after all.

"Yeah," Danny finally spoke with a croak, his thumb still grazing her palm. "If you squint."

* * *

**verb**

_2._ _lower the head or the body quickly to avoid a blow or so as not to be seen._

Mindy could hear her heart pounding in her ears. Was it always this intense, or has her presence altered the stakes? It seemed so fun from a safe distance.

But now she's witnessed a different side to all these men, especially her own. Jeremy's never looked more predatory (even in comparison to their earlier, seedier days), Morgan's focus was honestly petrifying, and Peter had become a different character entirely, limping and speaking in a deep southern accent that Mindy could only describe as 'that of a backwoods racist.'

Danny's transformation, however, was equal parts surprising as it was reassuring. She imagined that he'd be overprotective - maybe he was, a little bit - but he made more of an effort to guide her rather than shield her.

"You're doing great, babe," he said with a hushed tone. "Just lay low."

"If feel like my plan was way better than crouching behind this stupid plant!"

"For the last time, stealing the wings and holing ourselves in your office kind of defeats the purpose of the game. And the wings are for everyone."

"What happened to 'all's fair in love and war?' I'm starving! The last thing I'm thinking about is the appetite of our enemy."

Danny quickly stood to his feet and shot two foam darts towards the reception desk before crouching once again. "Mindy, sweetheart, I'm so glad you were able to join in on Wings 'n Stings this time around, but your musings are a little distracting."

Mindy opened her mouth to defend herself, but remained silent as they heard someone shuffle closer.

"Stay down," Danny mouthed as he held up a finger, signaling her to hold still. He waited a moment with stilled breath before popping upward once again. This time his shots were met with immediate retaliation as a neon orange foam dart with a black tip sailing over shoulder just before he plummeted back to the ground.

"Damn, Jeremy's aim has improved immensely!"

"Oh, good for him!"

"No, that's bad, Min."

"Oh! Right."

"Okay, I'm gonna try again," Danny whispered. "As soon as you see him shooting back, I want you to start shooting around the plant. He's probably gonna try to move in. If he shoots you back, you hit the ground immediately, you got it?"

Mindy nodded eagerly, praying that this would bring the game to a close so that they could finally eat and drink some beer. Danny leaned forward and quickly left a peck of a kiss on her lips before waiting a beat to stand up again.

As soon as he did, a dart pelted his chest.

"Dammit!" Danny exclaimed, swatting helplessly at the tree. "Jere, you've gotten better, I'll give you that."

"That I have, Danny," Jeremy shouted from his station. "Now sacrifice your girlfriend!"

"...no, I'm not doing that."

Mindy looked up with a gasp. "Danny, you've been shot?!"

"Yeah," he confirmed with an unbothered shrug. He took an appraising look around. "You know, we kind of put ourselves in a bad spot."

"Dammit, Danny, you weren't supposed to die like this!" Mindy moaned. She pulled him down until he was level with her again, cradling his face with her unoccupied hand. "Don't worry, babe. I'm gonna avenge the shit out of you."

Danny smiled crookedly. "You do that."

She leaned forward and gave him a lingering kiss before making her way around the other side of the plant. "YOU'RE DEAD, REED, YOU RAT BASTARD!"

"Yeah, go get 'em, Min!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Unless specified, each moment is part of a separate timeline. Some are canon, some diverge. As of now, there's no set chapter count. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
